


I'll Stay Awake (cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight)

by starlocked



Series: Star's Soulmate September 2020 [12]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anxceitmus, Anxiety, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Nightmares, Being Chased, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreamsharing, Drowning, Horror, I make no claim of accurately representing therapy, Multi, Panic, Paralysis, Self-Harm, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, anxiety medications, character gets therapy, logicality - Freeform, lungs filling with water
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26471407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlocked/pseuds/starlocked
Summary: Virgil doesn't get to meet his soulmates each night. No, he has nightmares. His roommate decides to stage an intervention.Day 12 of Soulmate September- You meet your soulmate every night in your dreams
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Star's Soulmate September 2020 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905370
Comments: 14
Kudos: 217





	I'll Stay Awake (cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight)

_"You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!"_

_Virgil tore through the broken landscape, avoiding holes in the floor and checking around every corner. The demon with glowing green eyes pursued relentlessly, cackling laughter peeling off the rusted metal surfaces and echoing so that he couldn’t tell where the source was coming from. All Virgil could do was keep running._

_He rounded a corner and found himself face to face with a half-man half-snake, the face grotesquely split between each form. The human hand raised up toward him. Virgil backpedaled to escape its grasp._

_"Sssstop!" the creature hissed. Virgil pulled his hoodie around his face and screamed._

He bolted upright in bed, still screaming. His roommate groaned and rolled over, turning on a lamp on his nightstand.

"Another nightmare, kiddo?" Patton looked a lot less caring than he sounded.

"Sorry," Virgil whimpered, fidgeting with his bed covers.

"Logan and I are pretty used to being interrupted by now. I just wish you could meet your soulmate instead of having these awful, scary nightmares," Patton yawned, "I'll leave the light on for you, maybe that will help." Patton rolled back over and was snoring in minutes.

Virgil sat in bed, unable and unwilling to fall back asleep. To keep himself awake he blasted music through his headphones and scratched at his skin. 

When the morning alarm rang out, Patton yawned and stretched out of the bed only to find Virgil up and working on homework. The dark bags under his eyes gave him away. Patton frowned and walked over, laying a hand on the boy's shoulder. Virgil jerked back, breathing hard, shaking off Patton's hand and tipping the chair dangerously close to falling back.

"Hey kiddo, how'd you sleep?" Patton smiled but Virgil only growled in response, flipping up his hood to hide his face. "Aww, I'm sorry."

"I'll be fine," Virgil glared at Patton and opened his desk drawer. Inside was filled with energy drinks. He grabbed three, stuffing two in his backpack and cracking open the third.

"Virgil, I'm worried about you."

"Well, don't."

Patton sighed and started getting ready for his day.

Virgil finished his drink before his 8 am calc class. By 8:15 he was already cracking open the second one.

Virgil sat with Logan and Patton during his lunch break, picking at a bowl of soup that was nearly unidentifiable.

"Virgil, Patton told me you didn't sleep again last night," Logan stated matter-of-factly.

"What do you care, wonder nerd?" Virgil bit back.

"We're your friends and we're worried about you, Virge," Patton smiled sadly.

"Honestly you might need professional help. You should look into a therapist to talk with about the nightmares. You can't live on sugary caffeinated drinks forever," Logan reprimanded him. Virgil glared at Logan.

"I know a guy who's really easy to talk to. At least try?" Patton tried to make eye contact but Virgil emphatically ignored him. Patton sighed, "whatever, we just want you to be able to take care of yourself and not scratch yourself raw every night. If you decide to try, here's Dr. Picani's number." Patton slid a slip of paper across the table to a stunned Virgil.

"How did you know?" he asked quietly.

"I just know what I'm looking for when it comes to that kind of stuff," Patton looked uncomfortable and Logan placed a comforting hand on his back.

"Okay.. thanks," Virgil didn’t look up as he gathered his stuff to leave the cafeteria.

* * *

Virgil felt locked in his car. All he had to do was get out and walk inside the office building, but he felt paralyzed in the driver's seat. This was such a bad idea. There was no way this would help. He needed to get out of there go home and pack up and get on the next flight out of the country and hope that no one ever tried to talk to him agai-

His phone rang. He didn't recognize the number but answered on autopilot.

"Hello, Virgil Strike speaking." 

"Hello, Virgil! This is Dr. Picani. I'm just calling because our session was scheduled to start at 4 but you're still sitting out in your car-" Virgil looked up and could see a man in the building window on the phone waving to him, "-are you okay? Do you need to reschedule?"

"No, I'm sorry, I-. I'll be in in a minute," Virgil waved back and disconnected the call. After a herculean effort, he made his way inside and was greeted by Dr. Picani who led him back to his office.

"Now, Virgil, I think I'll spare you my normal introduction," Picani grinned at the inside joke with himself, "this is a safe place for you to say anything. Nothing you tell me leaves this room unless you talk with someone else about it. Understand?" Virgil nodded. His pulse was spiking but Picani's calm demeanor helped immensely. 

"Alright, so let's get to know each other a little bit! What's your favorite cartoon?" the doctor grinned widely as though this were a completely normal question to ask.

"Uhhh does anime count? If not I'd have to say 'Happy Tree Friends'," Virgil stared the doctor in the eye as he jotted down the answer.

"Edgy! What about Spongebob?" The smile on his face never broke. They continued to talk until Dr. Picani worked the conversation around to why Virgil decided to come to therapy.

"My roommate and his soulmate think my lifestyle is pretty unhealthy, and it only really got bad when I started having nightmares instead of dreams after my birthday," Virgil scratched the back of his neck. It was hard to admit that he hadn't had a soulmate dream like everyone else did after their 18th birthday. To his surprise, the therapist didn't laugh or scoff.

"And how are the nightmares affecting you?"

"Well, I usually wake up screaming in the middle of the night and can't let myself go back to sleep. I'm lucky if I get 3 hours a night. Which means I'm falling asleep in Calc almost every day, not that I'm behind in class, and I drink a lot of coffee and energy drinks," Virgil paused and took a huge breath, "and this has become kinda a problem." He pulled up the sleeve of his hoodie to show the therapist the scratches and scars on his arm. "It's not like cutting! I just kinda scratch to keep myself from falling back asleep after the nightmares."

"Oh my, your friends were right, Virgil. This is very unhealthy. I'm glad you took their advice and came in," Dr. Picani smiled warmly to reassure Virgil. They spoke for the rest of the hour and just before Virgil left the doctor spoke up again, "Virgil, I'd like you to try an over the counter anxiety medication. We may need to get you a prescription for something that's stronger but I'd like you to try something over the counter first to see if you feel better. I think your anxieties are affecting your dreams. Maybe we can take that edge off so you can get some more sleep, which will have a domino effect on everything else. Maybe with better sleep, you can work on using less caffeine, which will help you feel calmer. Let me know how it works when you come in next week."

Virgil nodded hesitantly but stopped at a pharmacy on the way home anyway. He was ready to try anything at this point. 

Patton was waiting when he got back to the dorm. 

"How'd it go?" he asked with a bright smile.

"Doc's weird… but I think it's going to help," Virgil smiled back, setting his bottle of pills on his desk. 

* * *

Virgil popped two of the pills. Patton had gone to sleep already and was happily dreaming. Probably talking with Logan too. Virgil settled into bed, uncertain of what the night would bring.

_Virgil’s legs and feet were bound together with a thick tentacle that pulled him beneath the water before he could cry for help. Dragged underneath, Virgil found his lungs filling with water, but then discovered he could breathe the water without his body screaming for air. The tentacle dragged him deeper and deeper into the murky water._

_After what felt like an eternity, Virgil could see a giant pair of green eyes reflecting in the formless dark. He kicked and struggled against the creature._

_"I've got you now! Stop struggling, you emo nightmare!" a voice growled from the darkness._

_"Let me GO!" Virgil cried out, tearing at the tentacle with his hands. The grip on his legs loosened and he kicked free, swimming towards the surface._

_Rising to the surface, Virgil was tossed by the waves onto a sandy beach. He coughed up the seawater and laid on his back, sun burning down on him. Too hot. He couldn't move as the sand baked around him._

_A cool, smooth sensation crept up his foot and leg. Virgil couldn't move to see what it was as it moved up his torso. He heard a soft hissing and opened his eyes to find a yellow snake staring back at him. He tried to scream but had no voice, tried to throw the snake off but couldn't move._

_The snake… shook its head?_

_"Honessstly, why do you keep avoiding usss?" the snake spoke with a lisping voice._

_Virgil found his and replied, "what the hell do you want with me?" His eyes were wide with fear._

_"You haven't figured it out? We're your sssoulmatesss."_

Virgil sat up in bed in a cold sweat. The bedside clock showed it was much later than he normally woke up in terror. Patton slept undisturbed. Virgil felt almost calm enough to go back to sleep. Not that he wanted to if his soulmates were monsters.

Over the next few weeks, Virgil used over the counter anxiety medication regularly. He felt a lot calmer in class and the nightmares were a lot less terrifying. 

After a few sessions with Dr. Picani, Virgil picked up prescription medication and felt immensely more relaxed.

_The landscape was still hellish and broken. Virgil didn’t feel like running. Instead of a demon, a boy his age with gorgeous green eyes and a streak of silver in his brown hair rounded the corner, ready for the chase._

_"Alright let's fucking do- wait you aren't running," the boy looked confused and a little disappointed._

_"You aren't a demon so why would I run?" Virgil shrugged._

_"Oh my god, finally! Let's go find Double D," the boy grabbed Virgil by the wrist and started dragging him down the hall._

_"What's your name?" Virgil asked, catching up to the other and twisting his hand so they were holding hands._

_"Ooh you're fresh!" he chuckled, "just wait until we find Double D."_

_"Who's Double D?"_

_"Our other soulmate."_

_"Woah two soulmates?"_

_"Yeah, neat huh?"_

_"Sure, why 'Double D'?"_

_The boy stopped walking and turned to face Virgil, "we were waiting for you to tell each other our names and you took your sweet time so we gave each other nicknames. That's why you're Emo Nightmare and he's Double D."_

_"So what are you called?"_

_The boy grinned manically, "Fucker."_

_They continued walking through the twisted halls until they found another boy with one golden brown eye and one dark brown eye smiling at them as they rounded the corner._

_"There you are. Did you finally catch him?" He asked in a silky smooth voice._

_"Nah, for once the emo didn't want to run," the green-eyed boy grinned._

_"Well maybe you two shouldn't have acted like monsters," Virgil smirked, "so, who are you guys?"_

_The green-eyed boy was practically bouncing out of his shoes, "I'm Remus!" he blurted out._

_"My name is Janus," Janus held out a hand to Virgil, "and you are?"_

_"Not telling you," Virgil laughed at the scowls each of them gave them, "I'm kidding. My name is Virgil. It's good to meet you guys."_

_"Likewise," Janus grinned as Virgil took his hand._

_Remus picked them both up in a strong vise-like hug and twirled them around. They continued to talk the rest of the night, agreeing just before they woke up to not exchange direct addresses or phone numbers until they all met in person._

Virgil woke up more refreshed than ever, excited to find his soulmates in real life. Occasionally the dreams still started as nightmares but he was able to recognize Janus and Remus in the terrors and they could help talk him down from the fear. Each night they got to know each other better, talking about school and work and hobbies and everything else they could think of.

One day when a stranger with two different colored eyes sat down across from Virgil in the cafeteria, it felt as though Virgil had known him his whole life. 

**Author's Note:**

> Check out more Soulmate stories @tsshipmonth2020 on tumblr!  
> Sorry for the delay, bachelorette parties do not make it easy to post fic <3


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